Why?
Why, God? She was a student missionary--isn't that supposed to mean something?
I knew immediately when I heard that a student missionary in Yap had been murdered. My heart and stomach sank as I read the online article about Kirsten Wolcott.
I first met Kirsten while running with the Southern Striders. Now I will be the first to admit that I suck at running but Kirsten sure didn't. She said that she started running back in high school and worked her way up to running for 50 minutes everyday before class. We both ran in the Race for the Cure in Chattanooga.
After that, I enjoyed seeing another familiar face around campus, especially when I walked into the Student Missions Orientation class one day.
We both decided to be student missionaries.
Later in the year, Kirsten, Danika and I shared a room on the Student Missions retreat. Sabbath afternoon of the retreat, a group decided to go for a hike. I really couldn't decide if I wanted to go or not but Kirsten kept encouraging me to go. So I did. And it was fun--going up! But... well, if you know me, going downhill (especially when up high) is a bit hard for me to do without having a heart attack. As the rest of the group bounded down the hillside, I slowly inched my way down. Kirsten stayed right in front of me the whole time. We chatted all the way down, and in between my constant apologizing-for-going-so-slow and her don't-worry-about-it-response, I learned that we really had a lot of things in common.
After that experience, I took time to journal a prayer to God--and in it, thanking Him for Kirsten's friendship.
And I want to do it again: Thank you Lord for Kirsten's friendship.
I don't think she ever knew how much that afternoon hike that we took meant to me, or the time that we spent praying for each other's upcoming missionary year.
Thank you Lord. But it was to short.
So here I sit. In a dean's office at a small school Adventist boarding school in Tennessee. I'm not 8,000 miles from home and my mission field doesn't consist of a bunch of 2nd grade students on a small island. Instead, I'm only 3,000 miles from my family and I have 23 beautiful teenage girls in a high school dorm. You know, for some reason I keep trying to sell myself short because I choose to do task force and only 3 hours from the school I was attending. I didn't choose to rough it on an island somewhere. I didn't have to learn a new language. I still have running water, electricity and Internet. I still talk to my parents almost everyday... How is that considered serving on the same level as my friends who are overseas?
But tonight, as I sat in front of 23 girls trying to give them a 'worship talk'--well, I just sat there: choking back tears, not having the answers, and asking for prayer.
Four prayers were offered. 24 hearts broken. I was amazed and blessed by the words spoken by the girls--through the girls. I am here for a reason. This is my mission field. These girls have experienced similar losses.
We ended with a challenge: tell those who you love--tell them that you love them--don't twitter it, don't Facebook it, don't text it. Call them. Don't wait. Tell them that you love them.
The phone was busy tonight.
As for me, I can't wait to see my family again in just a few days. I also can't wait for the day that I get to tell Kirsten how much her friendship meant to me.
I can't wait to tell her face-to-face.
Me, Jessie and Kirsten on the way to the Race. ^^
The whole group! (And I was taking the picture...) ^^
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5 comments:
I already told you today, but i want to say it again; I LOVE YOU. You're amazing.
Thanks for sharing that Hollie!! Life can be crazy and full of things unexpected, I remember just last November when I lost 4 friends in a car accident here at PUC, it was devastating but the best thing I had was the hope that when I see them again I'll be able to let them know who much their friendship had meant to me!! Hang in there!! God is always by our side even in the hardest and most trying times!!
Hollie, thanks so much for posting this. She was an amazing woman. Cannot wait for that day we can see her again. And thanks for serving where God has placed you. Blessings to you as you continue to serve...
Wow Hollie....this blog is so powerful. Even for someone who really didn't know Kirsten, I found myself with a lump in my throat when I read this. While sitting in the lobby witnessing all the girls singing beautifully last night with the christmas lights on and the light-hearted atmosphere all around, I couldn't help but think about how devastating it would be at Highland if something like this happened to one of us.....then with that thought in mind, I thought about the children in Yap who have grown so attached to their teachers including Kirsten. I remember hearing stories from Majuro last year where the kids constantly displayed a tremendous love toward the SMs, because they had such an incredible influence. I have no doubt God's love shined brightly through Kirsten in Yap, and my heart bleeds for those kids and the fellow SMs who are left with the questions WHY! This is a huge blow felt around the world, and I am definitely adding it to my list of questions for Heaven. You are in my prayers this Thanksgiving Hollie.....I can imagine that you will be wrapping your arms around your parents & brothers and telling them that you love them a lot! Thanks for the blog, and enjoy Cali.....
{this is a new comment to spell Kirsten's name correctly}
Hollie, I don't know you, but Kristina forwarded me a link to your blog.
I didn't know Kirsten personally, so I can't know what you're going through. But I am praying for you. Your dorm this year is just as much a mission field as my classroom in the Marshall Islands was last year. Don't sell yourself and your mission short. I'm praying for you and your girls.
-Ashlee
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